pour some detergent on me

Siddhartha sends me a pointer to yet another interview where keeping the brain running rewards you with some laughs. Jagmohan Mundhra, the IIT alumnus who moved from making exploitation soft-core yawners to mixing titillation and issues with films like Kamala is all set to unleash a psychological thriller called Apartment (not to be confused with that old classic). The film stars two lasses who have stacked their beamers in Bollywood with their acting chops, Tanushree Dutta and Neetu Chandra. The narrative, of course, demands that epidermal vistas be provided. So it's no surprise that both the kittens have lapped up a chance to tantalise the ignorant souls who hoped to get a breakfast tray. This will be strictly family-rated droolery, Freunde und Freundinen, but one cannot talk sense to those whose minds are churning out tunes to 'em Clair-de-Lunes. Those of us who know better can chuckle by reading Neetu Chandra's interview, in which some attempt is made to make all this seem artistic by comparing her bathing in a bathroom to a sequence with much more relevance in the bleak classic Chakra. Having noted that the lass and the interviewer have missed the point of the Smita Patil starrer, we can move on to the other funny bits.

We first have evidence of competition:

Were you awkward or uncomfortable?
I went about it very professionally. Initially, I was nervous but later, after seeing the scene and the way it was shot, I am confident it will go down well. They also showed me Tanushree's shower scene with Rohit in her lavish apartment and then there is my bathing scene in a run-down broken bathroom. I am sure there will be comparisons.

We then move on to a behind-the-scenes (no pun intended) take on the sequence:

Were you really bare, as it seems in the photograph?
Well it shows that I am nude but I don't want to comment beyond that. It can be a trick of the camera too. Do you think any actress would pose for a scene like this without wearing anything?

Technical trickery can hide or reveal a lot of things, but one must not forget the Bollytropes that are immune to it (Rani Mukerji's voice, Celina Jaitley's inability to act, Emraan Hashmi's cult of personality).