dirty ditties

Bappi Lahiri famously insisted that A. R. Rahman had lifted the ho in Slumdog Millionaire's Oscar-winning jay ho from his hit rambhaa ho from Armaan. In Anuvab Pal's book Disco Dancer (dedicated to the cult classic starring Mithun Chakraborty), he is even quoted as proudly claiming to have brought the ho to Bollywood. Would he then concede that Vishal-Shekhar's ooh la la from The Dirty Picture owed a debt to a certain song composed by A. R. Rahman for Rajeev Menon's Minsara Kanavu?

Regardless of such trivial quibbles, Bappi seems like the perfect person to warble this lusty duet with Shreya Ghoshal (who would have thought she'd pick a song like this instead of a strain of romantic yearning?). The song starts off feeling like an uncensored alter ego of R. D. Burman's chunarii sambhaal gorii before shifting into a nostalgic paean to the disco-laced 80s dominated by Bappi-da. Bappi gets to pay tribute to himself in (as far as I can remember) his second song for Vishal-Shekhar. He couldn't have asked for more.

music is a nail

Although he hasn't been churning out much stuff in the last few years, the once-prolific Bappi Lahiri still manages to deliver his little scoop to the delight of all those who relish a smidgen of surprise in their news. This time the bejewelled bopper has decided to rope in a famous name for a chitty-chitty ditty called I Got the Music in a film called Will to Live (surely the Hindi version will be titled जी ले ले जी ले ले). After he had elicited the services (in voice and flesh) of Samantha Fox for Rock Dancer, Pritam had bested his record with Snoop Dogg showing up on the soundtrack of that film with a title whose terrible spelling was inspired by unfortunate numerological ideas. Bappi ain't gonna take no jive from the man whose torrent client offered a higher return on investment in the department of plagiarism than Bappi-da's ears. So now welcome M C Hammer, who will write and perform some rap on Bappi's track. Will Mr. Burrell do better than Shri Dev Anand who had ensured that Mr. Prime Minister would have something to keep it in the canals of Bollywood infamy? Will Bappi-da outshine Park Chan-Wook? Will Mr. Burrell resort to a reissue of his classic hits after the fruits of the collaboration are made available to the ears of the world? Or will it all be गान with the wind?

While we wait, it's time to sneak another look at his tribute to Michael Jackson (if you are lucky, you can snag a copy of the release from United White Flag, a label whose website is a remarkable fusion of eyecandy with eyesore).

bappidas

I didn't know Kalpana Iyer had been a winner of the Miss India title. Having discovered this, I decided to check her filmography out. All my memories of Madame Iyer were of her as a vamp in hits churned out by Bappi Lahiri (hari Om hari in Pyaara Dushman and rambhaa ho in Armaan). Her filmography did not yield any surprises, however; there was no phase of roles indicating a desire to try some serious acting and snag an award or two. But I stumbled upon Manokaamnaa. I knew Bappi's songs for the film, but I had no idea that Madame Iyer had starred in this Raj Kiran flick. Predictably, the video for my favourite song on the soundtrack was up on Youtube. As with most of the songs for Bollywood films, what goings-on on screen added naught to my favourable impressions of the song. I, however, realised that in addition to sounding like himself, Bappi also seemed to be doing an impersonation of Yesudas. What the song would have sounded like if Yesudas had sung it is unfortunately a matter of speculation.

a blast of bappi

As we lament the passing of an age of lyrical dross so bad it was hilarious, let us pause to shower laurels on one such master stroke in the late 90s from the jewel-clad master. Boppi-da ensured the cult credentials of the Sunil Shetty/Jeetendra law and odour flick Judge Mujrim with Jolly Mukherjee belting out lailaa o lailaa. Was this Boppi-da's tribute to the Shah brothers? Perhaps we will never know. Meanwhile, we can surely sit back and relish the interplay of language, the blending of metaphors in this abbatoir of rhyme embellished with the obligatory bridge of rap. Presented below is the "neat" version of the song (no repetitions, no loops)

हम तुम दोनों मिल गए
प्यार की tuning हो गयी
हर morning तेरी हो गयी
हर evening तेरी हो गयी

लैला हो लैला तू है लैला
छैला मैं छैला मैं तेरा छैला

आ हा नज़र क्या तेरी है
आ हा कमर क्या तेरी है
आ हा अदा क्या तेरी है
आ हा उम्र क्या तेरी है

आ हा ये गाल टमाटर से
आ हा ये होंठ गाजर से
आ हा तू बोतल शरबत की
आ हा टू गोरी पनघट की

तेरे रूप की बिजली से
मेरे दिल में lighting हो गयी

आ हा तू गुडिया जापानी
आ हा तू परियों की रानी
आ हा तू चाँद पूनम का
आ हा तू कतरा शबनम का

आ हा छलकता जाम है तू
आ हा सुनहरी शाम है तू
आ हा तू model 96
आ हा तू गोरी गोरी miss

मेरे दिल के garden में
तेरे प्यार की कलियाँ खिल गयीं
हर morning तेरी हो गयी
हर evening तेरी हो गयी

the appropriator of melodies strikes again

Years ago I caught a film called Bhavna on the good old DD one late night. The film was a Shabana Azmi vehicle about a woman going through almost everything that could go wrong. Several years later (aka today, dear patient reader), I fished out one of my many HamaraCD compilations -- a two-fer with Bappi helming the music console, Bhavna and Dil Se Mile Dil. Bhavna opened with Kavita Paudwal and Asha Bhosle trading lines on dekho din ye. The Rajesh Roshan-esque elements of the arrangement didn't do much to erode that strong familiar feeling of having heard this melody before. A few hours later, the proverbial a-ha moment arrived. Bappi was probably visiting one of Disney's numerous theme parks with his family when that infectious earworm by the Sherman Brothers called It's A Small World made its way into his tune banks, emerging, faster than you could say "Mickey Mouse," as a duet for Bollywood. Surely, he thought, this wouldn't hurt ol' Walter's feelings.

For your viewing pleasure, here's Richard Sherman and here's Bappi's (re)creation.

J2EE caesar (aka IT groans)

Was Mark Antony the earliest known J2EE deployment engineer? You would think so.

In contrition, allow me to offer you a relatively less lauded Bappi gem from Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam (a movie that will make it to the history books for featuring Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan and Madhuri Dixit). Maya Govind spins a song rife with the clichés of the cold and the warm benefits of intimacy, but effects a masterful flourish by opening it with a rhyme joining two unlikely items -- a red tie and a cot at home. Go figure.

bappi's back and the truth hurts again

[thanks to Karthik over at I2FS for the pointer]

After raking in a load of dough with the Addictive victory a few years ago, Bappi's back in the news thanks to You Don't Mess With The Zohan using Jimmy Jimmy from Disco Dancer and giving him due credit. It's irony all over again and this time it's because the Bappi hit was a filch from You're OK by disco duo Ottawan. The Calcutta Times interview also includes the classic befuddling line Ottawan copied from me!. A 1980 song is a copy of a 1982 song. Who did it? The Time Traveller, no doubt.

how to wake up ROTFLYAO

Jaya Prada is taking to producing AND singing. And she's singing hip-hop [see also: Mr. Prime Minister]. With Bappi and Adnan Sami. Bappi does the mu[sic]al honours again. Seriously though, B-mongers may rejoice. This is the stuff to treasure, not (terii yaad(2)) * 2.

Incidentally, has anyone noticed the faint likeness between Himesh Reshammiya and #me? Might explain why the former does his best[sic] for the latter ...

rapchique

A quick note before the excitement[sic] dies down. The soundtrack {brief early mention} for Dev Anand's next opus Mr. Prime Minster has hit the stands and the airwaves. No idea about previews/promos on TV and the like, so someone please fill me in. Barring Sunidhi's chuii muii sii zi.ndagii by Darshan Dave, Bappi (/dev/anand's favourite from Awwal Number, Sachche ka Bol Bala (try ye hawaaye.n that begins in Rajesh Roshan mode and has the male and female voices going kiss me, kiss me), and associated with Hum Rahe Na Hum, the abandoned Vijay Anand-helmed projects Main Tere Liye and Jaana Na Dil Se Door) does the honours. The piece de resistance (nay, existence!) is undoubtedly the titular "rap" song written and performed in two flavours (English and Hindi) by Dev Anand. There're a lot of familiar samples on the tracks, but the clear winner (especially for those who forgot what a laughter-induced bellyache feels like) is a combination of Mr. Anand's poetry[sic] and rendition. This is Scatman John in slow-mo. On Tomorrow Never Knows John Lennon wanted to have a microphone placed in the centre of the studio while he was to be swinging on a rope in order to create a swirling effect(a Leslie speaker eventually did the needful). Sounds like Mr. Anand did something similar (perhaps minus the swinging-on-a-rope part). As soon as YT can figure out every word he butchers and every rhyme he drops, YT intends to share the goodies. In the meantime, here's a teaser:

betaaj baadashaah
man shahanashaah
na jeb me.n paisaa
na chaay me.n shakkar


Addendum [december 03, 2005]: Heard from Mr PM at the music release function.

##picture## bahut ##tight## ... shaayad mai.n isakaa ##interval## bhii nahii.n karuu.Ngaa ... log ghuse a.ndar aur dekh ke baahar aa gaye ... ##in one go##

##rap## is liye kyo.n ki ##rap## is ##picture## ke (pause; keeps making that famous right hand yo move) ##character## ko ##define## karataa hai (pause) achchhaa lagegaa ... log hameshaa puuchhate hai.n ##mister ... mister prime minister## kyaa hai ... to ##mister prime minister## ko mai.nne ##define## kiyaa hai ##rap## ke a.ndar ...

##mr prime minister## sirf mai.n hii soch sakataa ... aur koii nahii.n soch sakataa

Bappiwood

Not satisfied with ironically winning the case against Truth Hurts, Bappi has now collaborated with QuickSilver Records (byline: a serious music company), an LA-based recordign company, to create his remixes of 10 of his own songs (another pot/kettle scenario, like Asha doing Rahul and I and then screaming out against the remixes based on RD Burman compositions). Enlisting the services of his son Bappa and his daughter Rema, Bappi has created (nay concocted) Bappiwood Remixes {see also: Amazon page}
.

note: The May 2003 issue of Little India, which carried the blurb that gave me most of this information, says that the American recording company was called Serious Music. Despite the humour in that name, methinks they got the name wrong. Waiting for additional input to be sure.

followup: The TOI is also running a little press release (complete with Bappi's smiling face hidden by large cheap goggles and an aura of flowing hair!) which says that the recording company is Serious Music (of course, the source could be the same as that of the Little India article I read). Still waiting for something more conclusive.

DAHSHAT

Being a 1981 product of the Ramsay picchur factory, this B-flick boasts a sepia-and-overflowing-red tainted colour-drained print (characteristic of rare prints that did not meet the requirements for preservation set down by large inflated corporates with marigolds for brains like YashRaj Films -- see below for extended rant), a stellar star cast (love that phrase!) including Navin Nischol, Sarika, Bharat Bhushan (yes, he dies in this movie too), Om Shivpuri and Nadira (yep, you read that right!). Additionally present are the usual suspects (read: comic fillers and obligatory extras):

* Birbal (doing an Om Prakash impersonation)

* Rajendranath (credited as 'Narendranath' and playing Bahadur Bakshi, a cowardly veterinarian colleague to Navin Nischol's Dr Sameer Mahipat Rai). I think I've seen him credited thus in an old Joy Mukherji flick, but I'd have to do some digging to verify this.

* Jayshree T playing (again) the low-budget seductive moll (a club dancer, in this case, with whom Dr Vishal [Shivpuri] has a torrid -- well, as much as the censors and the constraints of economy allow -- affair)

* Not to forget Sarika doing her bit as the desi version of the clueless blonde, with nothing to contribute to the plot except being a love interest and the dumb gal who uses her IQ (which cannot be measured even on the Kelvin scale) and gets into the chu.Ngal (clutches) of the mutating Dr Vishal

The film has several appealing aspects (B-genre, plot points, compositions) to it:

* Bharat Bhushan plays a taa.Ngevaalaa called Robert, with two kids, Georgie and Rosie. To reiterate, he dies in the movie (again): thanks to some hawk serum injected into him by Dr Vishal (Shivpuri), his eyesight hits a sharp improvement, and then his eyes cannot stand the light. His iridic infrastructure shortly collapses under the strain, and so does he.

* Brother Keshu Ramsay (who went on to direct Dak Bungla for the family canon, produce Khiladi 420, and the forthcoming Khakee [post mentioning the film] and produce and direct the interesting Khoj) lends his services for a cameo as a bystander spouting some prolix at the cemetery (see note about the cemetery below) and credited as a "Brotherly Appearance". That must the first time such a credit has appeared (in addition to the regular "Special Appearance" by Sudhir and Gajanan Jagirdar)

* Based on the name and profession of Bharat Bhushan's character, one must assume that the population of the bastii is Christian, and is in danger of extinction. The Hindus (represented by the Mahipat Rai family) seem to be safe, even by the end of the movie. Would this be the first example of subtle religion-conscious horror flicks?

* The CBI office where junior artistes dressed up in police uniform are operating typewriters

* The use (unauthorized, of course) of Pink Floyd's Time as Dr Vishal enters the club/hotel that Jayshree T is supposed to perform her dance number (which is also the second of two songs featured in the film: merii jaa.N, a thar-tharaataa duet complete with English grunts and words ("don't touch me") with Asha). More song information can be found in the credits section below.

* A rock-solid performance by Om Shivpuri (as the bat serum infected world-famous Dr Vishal -- CRIB: If he's world-renowned, how come no one mentions his last name???)

Observations: The film is set in an (imaginary) bastii in the district of Chandan Nagar, which based on events transpiring in the film, seems to be located somewhere between Poona and Bombay. A key piece of evidence is milestone 73 (chosen for its prime properties?) on the highway where Vishal wishes a rendezvous with Sameer.

Synopsis and Review

another dahshat, also scored by Bappi.

Credits

starring Navin Nischol (Dr Sameer), Sarika (Kiran), Om Shivpuri (Dr Vishal), Nadira (Kamini)

with Narendranath (Dr Bakshi), Pinchoo Kapoor (the CBI lead), Dev Kumar, Ramesh Dev (playing a muslim police inspector called Dr Mullah!), Gopi Krishna, Jayshree T, Bharat Bhushan (Robert), Madan Puri (Mr Mahipat Rai, Sameer's dad), Agha (Kiran's dad), Chand Usmani

Special Appearance Sudhir Gajanan Jagirdar

Brotherly Appearance Keshu Ramsay

Records on HMV (aka lost forever)

Music Assistants Anil and Aroon

Playback Asha Bhosle Kishore Kumar Sulakshana Pandit Bhappi Lahiri

Lyrics Amit Khanna

Music Bhappi Lahiri (I don't think he sang for anyone else but himself!)

Co-Editor Shyam Ramsay

Sound Engineer Kiran Ramsay

Associate Director Arjun Ramsay

Cinematography Gangu Ramsay

Story, Screenplay, and Produced by Kumar Ramsay

Directed by Tulsi Ramsay & Shyam Ramay




Songs

mere pyaar kaa miiTar (Kishore): Yes, you read right. Ultra-pedestrian lyrics composed in the O P Nayyar vein (a really cool experiment) and picturised on Navin Nischol and Sarika (accompanied by Narendranath and Dev Kumar) on a taangaa, high on bhaa.Ng.

merii jaa.N (Bappi, Asha): a vigorously danced out club number with Jayshree T and dude_with_skin_coated_with_shoe_polish? (Who is this guy?). Lotsa cool riffs from Bappi-vaaDii.

Open Question: Was there another song with Sulakshana Pandit (since she's credited)?

Another Open Question: Who's the voice intoning "Dahshat" over the opening credits?

extended rant about YashRaj films

I must first say that I am glad someone (in this case YashRaj Films) has decided to convert to DVD a lot of the old Bollywood films (so what if they weren't "classics", they're still historically important). Now, since it's YashRaj Films, we need a business angle. Which would be fine, all things considered, if they had invested at least a fraction of the effort involved in transferring a film to DVD. Reviews on Zulm.net should be a fair indication of how much the Indian sector needs to come up to speed on good DVD conversions. Back to YRF. Their DVD catalogue is impressive. Being an RD Burman fan, I was especially pleased to see Jagir (which has an awesome electronica-laden soundtrack, and is probably a passable film). However, there are two things that mar the joy at this bit of news (and this brings me to the rant):

* The DVDs are either UK or USA/Canada. A paltry subset is available via Ultra Distributors for VCD and VHS distribution in India only. So, of course, prices are obscene: USD 17.99 plus shipping.

* Let us now examine the "Features" section of our sample DVD. I draw your attention to the last item: "Reproduced from vintage source for the sake of nostalgic appeal, hence possibly compromising on quality". This means, I am getting some sub-rate product and paying through my ... ahem ... for it.

Hence the rant. And if you thought I am getting more than it's worth, considering that this is such an obscure film, check out the page for an unchallengeable classic in Hindi (and even Indian) cinema, Pyaasa. Same deal.

On a related note, Raj Kapoor's Shree 420 (redone for the 90s as Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman) made it to DVD in two avatars: one from YRF (they decided to do away with the nostalgia bit on this one, methinks ... no "nostalgic appeal" nonsense on this page) and the other from Shemaroo Video. Michel Hafner reviews both and provides a comparison: the conclusions are not cut-and-dry, both versions have pluses and minuses. Pity.

first round: bappi

Happy Lahiri. That's what Bappi is these days. He won round one of the Kaliyon ka Chaman case. aka the Truth Hurts dilemma. And I have to steal this image off the article. It just rocks:

and now ladies and gentlemen, Bappi Lahiri ...

The last we heard, Ms. Mangeshkar was suing Truth Hurts {refresh your memory}. And now, another contributor to the resurrected song that was sampled in Addictive surfaces with a 2-cent opinion. The voluble self-mocking (albeit unintentionally) over-the-top talented-but-shortchanging composer Bappi Lahiri. His interview with Screen is laced with classic Bappi-isms. What is ironic in his plan to take legal action is his status as the King of Copycats. Back in his days of glory, Bappi-da (cheaply) recycled tunes from the West into low-budget hits: Video Killed the Radio Star became Auva Auva, Beat It became Jee Lé. He even quoted In a Gadda Da Vida. May this ironic battle continue.