ramakrishna jimmy shankar blows out the candles

ज़हर पीकर दुनिया को अम्रीत[sic] बाँटने वाला ... शंकर ... शंकर mechanic. चेहरे पर lorry के headlight की तरह जो दो आँखें लगी हुयी हैं न अगर उसे खोलकर देखोगी तो पता चलेगा ये रास्ता नहीं खेत है.

Don't you utter that name without रस्पेक्ट. Consider yourself lucky (pause) that you are born on this pious land (pause) where (pause) that noble आत्मा had taken बार्त. You ill-informed brats! You don't डिज़ार्व to be called Indians. You should be thankful to God (pause) that we work hard in the burning sun to grow crops for you worthless क्रेचर्स. Now get lost and don't step on this land again (pause) with your dirty feet. Get lost!

Happy birthday to the real Guru.

it happens only in india: more videos

Our first entry comes from K Bapaiah's Waqt ki Awaz featuring Mithun Chakraborty and Neelam with enough lipstick to paint the state of Wyoming red. This one's got it all: a melody that recycles the Mithun/Bappi classic I Am A Disco Dancer, a disco floor, undocumented aerobics masquerading as dance steps, Mithun on the drums, Mithun playing the saxophone, ghastly close-ups of Neelam auditioning for a TV show by the Ramsay brothers ... and best of all, Asha and Kishore lending conviction to lyrics that improvise on the key line "I want to hit somebody"

And then we have competition to the Puneet Issar starrer Superman from down south. It's the late great NTR as Huperman (um; how do you explain the H instead of the S on his cape?) and awar waan and won lee Jaya Prada as the damsel in distress (tied to a tree, as it were). Of they go into the sky aided by familiar primitive special effects and another set of zany dance steps. This is the kind of animation that fits in well with Terry Gilliam's work on Monty Python's Flying Circus. Listen to "Superman (man man)," watch physics and aesthetics go for a grand toss, take your time laughing your rear off and then return to the boring normalcy of life.

Mind it.

deutsche auto intoxication

The rebarbative rabbler known in the Circles of the Ailing Ear as The Nose That Goes (On and On) has added another splotch to the list of meaningless achievements that keeps the desii media happy. He's effected the first appearance of Indian auto-rickshaws on German streets. The scoop: a pre-climactic sequence featuring 6 of the yellow-and-black's ilk in his acting début Aap kaa Surroor: The Moviee (no typo that, mind you). It's his way of acknowledging the importance of these patrons of jha.nkaar beats in his success.

The makers of this film might choose to give themselves a few pats for this creative brainwave. Yet, a legendary cinematic work beat them to the finishing line years ago. Who can forget the pre-climactic sequence in Kanti Shah's cult classic Gunda (famously featured in a Pune quiz) featuring Mukesh Rishi and his Red Rickshaw-Riding Hoods facing off with the one and only Mithun Chakraborty? The hero and villain employ audaciously gassy couplets as weapons, before the infinitely-fuelled bazooka makes its appearance. The sequence is reportedly being considered for inclusion in educational texts to illustrate the benefits of harmonious multi-threaded applications as well as in diploma courses on system administration.

elsewhere: A blog dedicated to collecting all the verse adorning rickshaws. An undeniably cool idea.

jimmy jimmy aajaa aajaa[previous post in thread]

Daboo Sippy, who was responsible for the Mithun boxing vehicle Boxer (duh!), is all set to direct Mimoh in Jimmy. Mithun Chakraborty presents the film (this is probably the closest he'll get to his son's films, because he's already gone public about letting the kid do his own thing). Co-star Zulfi Syed wasn't so bad in Chupke Se, but I get the feeling not many people really cared for that flick. Strangely enough, one report has Naresh Malhotra (with an impressive[sic] ouevre that includes Yeh Dillagi, Achanak [the one starring Govinda], Kranti [the one with Bobby Deol] and Dil ka Rishta) listed as the director of Jimmy. [more]

update: [march 28, 2006]: Anand Raj Anand's doing the mu{sic}al honours.

M&M

There's some more wrapper buzz about MC's next release Chingari, directed by Kalpana Lajmi and featuring Sushmita Sen and Anuj Sawhney. The writer curiously, spells Lajmi as Lazmi -- it's either a manifestation of a ghaaT tendency or a sign of acute awareness of some numerological decision-making on KL's part. The second slip is more egregious:

Mithun made a comeback with Vikram Bhatt's "Elaan" this year. "Lucky" was his second release. Unfortunately, both the movies bombed at the box-office and Mithun's comeback did not simmer at all.

Lucky: No Time for Love (a sorrier waste was never seen) was actually his third release. His second release was, IMNSHO the most satisfying of the lot, the B. Subhash-helmed Bappi-scored Classic: Dance of Love [perfunctory inadequate notes].

Meanwhile, there's more Mimoh trivia. Especially appealing is the nugget that he shares our discomfort as far as films featuring Yogita Bali are concerned.

the oracle of the bengal tiger

[right back at you, Gaurav]

Why didn't I think of this before? The general version of the Oracle of Kevin Bacon game (last mentioned in a birthday greetings post for IMDB) offers some solid results when applied to everyone's favourite sha.nkar. A few Erdös-ian samples follow {October 24, 2005: fixed an egregious and subtle manifestation of the Copy/Paste problem [merci Amogh]}:

Brad Pitt has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 2

Brad Pitt was in Seven Years in Tibet (1997) with Danny Denzongpa
Danny Denzongpa was in Shandaar (1990) with Mithun Chakraborty

Orson Welles has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 3

Orson Welles was in Sailor from Gibraltar, The (1967) with Zia Mohyeddin
Zia Mohyeddin was in Bombay Talkie (1970) with Aparna Sen
Aparna Sen was in Titli (2002) with Mithun Chakraborty

Sylvia Kristel has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 3

Sylvia Kristel was in Mysteries (1978) with Rita Tushingham
Rita Tushingham was in Guru, The (1969) with Aparna Sen
Aparna Sen was in Titli (2002) with Mithun Chakraborty

Sonny Chiba has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 3

Sonny Chiba was in Bushido Blade, The (1981) with Mako (I)
Mako (I) was in Cages (2005) with Asrani
Asrani was in Heeralal Pannalal (1999) with Mithun Chakraborty

Charlie Chaplin has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 3

Charles Chaplin was in Countess from Hong Kong, A (1967) with Michael Medwin
Michael Medwin was in Sea Wolves: The Last Charge of the Calcutta Light Horse, The (1980) with Mohan Agashe
Mohan Agashe was in Gudia (1997) with Mithun Chakraborty

Quentin Tarantino has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 3

Quentin Tarantino was in From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) with Veena Bidasha
Veena Bidasha was in Divine Lovers (1997) with Hemant Birje
Hemant Birje was in Bhairav (2001) with Mithun Chakraborty

Krzysztof Kieslowski has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 4

Krzysztof Kieslowski was in Niebieskie jak Morze Czarne (1973) with Tomasz Zaliwski
Tomasz Zaliwski was in Krakh operatsii Terror (1980) with Artyom Karapetyan
Artyom Karapetyan was in Ajooba (1991) with Tej Sapru
Tej Sapru was in Aaj Ka Ravan (2000) with Mithun Chakraborty

Linda Lovelace has a Mithun Chakraborty number of 4

Linda Lovelace was in Linda Lovelace for President (1975) with Garry Goodrow
Garry Goodrow was in Breathless (1983) with Richard Gere
Richard Gere was in Shabana (2002) with Aparna Sen
Aparna Sen was in Titli (2002) with Mithun Chakraborty

A few other candidates eliminated for similar links in the chain include Alfred Hitchcock, Martin Scorsese. And anything involving Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Gandhi

two things blog-worthy

The first is an ode to the greatness/divinity of Mithun Chakraborty that came contained in an innocuous email from JR. Includes a mention of the classic Gunda as well as some other less-sung movies along with notes on the pioneering aspects of a few. 'Nuff said.

Finally, after several releases that reflected great laudable care in design and implementation, Google comes up with something that I can be excited about in the long run (although how rewarding this would be versus the usual straight-to-Google searches is something that can be gauged over time). I give you Google Blog Search.

fragments of memory: from the recent trip to India [being mostly a collection of movie memories]

* Qayamat se Qayamat Tak: So many movies of late have been quoting Sholay. Perhaps that made me sit up for a short sequence in QSQT, when Aamir Khan and Raj Zutshi riding a motorcycle approach (frame-right) a storyteller (frame-left) at the foot of a tree. Echoes of the Soorma Bhopali encounter?

* Sajan: A lesser flick starring the ever-clueless Asha Parekh and the morbidly serious Manoj Kumar. The film boasts yet another early appearance by the Shotgun himself (as Inspector Tiwari), as well as a trait in some of these oldies of casting local talent [sic] (presumably in the family friend circle) in aggravating supporting roles (the role in question is Mrs. Gidwani). Om Prakash's character spouts a lot of shuddh Hindi (see also: Chupke Chupke), and even snags a meritorious line like tum ho ##Queen## mai.n huu.N ##King## / kyaa banogii ##Darling##

* The second obscure Rani Mukherjee vehicle Mehndi deserves an honorary (without examination) induction into the JaDe project

* Tahalka: Another JaDe project nominee (including a special mention for Anil Sharma). One of the cool motifs includes the salutation bom chik bom bom / long live Dong!.

* Kya Yahi Pyar Hai: This film might be remembered solely for casting Jackie Shroff as Aftab Shivdasani's elder brother. Also featuring Ashish Vidyarthi hamming gloriously as Raj Patil Raja ("raajaa ko prajaa kabhii dhokaa nahii.n de sakatii"). Product placements include Philips and Tips. Also noted is Aftab's character's birthday (February 29).

* Mujrim: Classic, mainstream Mithun, featuring Nutan as his distraught, hard-on-luck, widowed mother who has to support her children (Mithun and his sister played by Pallavi Joshi) while sticking to the path of righteousness. Featuring Madhuri Dixit as the Bengal Tiger's co-star. Music director Annu Malik provides a score that deserves to be cultified: From composing and warbling boom boom shakalakalaka boom (and filching the riff from Stevie Wonder's Part Time Lover for the musical interludes) to raat ke baarah baje to the obligatory devotional daataa pyaar de, which filches va.nde maataram, to the plaintive title song, to the "bad lyrics" candidate kuka.Duu kuu picturised on Madhuri Dixit. Also features Tej Sapru paraphrasing Mirza Ghalib (ba.De be\-aabaruu hokar tere kuuche se ham nikale).

* Sanyasi Mera Naam: Another Mithun classic. Echoes of the Rajesh Khanna starrer Dushman [correction: thanks to Harish for pointing out that it's Roti and not Dushman] (and perhaps even the sober Kinara): Mithun's character bumps off a guy, only to later run into his parents (and find out later that the dead dude was their son and sahaaraa). He then goes through a change of heart and proceeds to wage a battle against the forces of corruption afflicting the village. This is probably the first film to inform us that Yamaraaj has a cell-phone (although the number is not revealed). Featuring Mohan Joshi as Trikaal (trikaal kaa kaal mahaakaal) and some innovative acts of humiliation effected by the Bengal tiger (including a slap-fest at a canvassing rally). Recommended.

* Diljala: Stars Jackie Shroff (doing the also-seen-in-Hero transition from clean-shaven-no-moustache to bearded-with-headband), Danny, Rajesh Patel, Annu Kapoor, Tanuja. Featuring a legendary fake phone number (4209211) [chaar sau biis nau do gyaarah] and a fake address to boot [pa.nch maar ko.Daa, badalaa nagar pulis sTeshan. The songs tuned by Bappi Lahiri include jaa.N tan se tan jaa.N se.

* Main Khiladi Tu Anari: Much has already been said about this, but repeated watching cements the memory of gems like tum ek ##inspector## nahii.n, tum ek jhuuThe ##character## ho.

* Police Officer: A trademark "produced by Salim" movie. This one's opening sequence involves Aruna Irani delivering twins in a hospital on a rainy stormy night (sure!) while her husband (Tinnu Anand in a special appearance credited only after his character has been bumped off) is viciously murdered downstairs outside. The twins grow to be Ram and Kishen, Jackie Shroff and Jackie Shroff respectively. One of them has eyes of a different colour (thus promising us scenes of confusion, obfuscation, substitution and confrontation). Ram gets bumped off by his father-in-law (Ajit) and then Kishen reappears to proxy while attempting to find out who the murderer was (and Ajit's character spends a lot of time analyzing this puzzle). Ajit's character also gets to mouth if you want to shoot, shoot, don't talk. The film also features a Hamlet-esque Mousetrap moment when a play is staged to accuse the chief guests of murder.

Elsewhere, in unrelated business, my PIFF 2005 rant finally sees the light of day ...

mithun does naach

[thanks to Aditya for the heads-up]

Oh yeah! B-mongers rejoice. With a title like Classic-Dance of Love, there's definitely hope. And the film marks the reunion of B. Subhash, ze Bengal Tiger himself, and Bappi Lahiri. The soundtrack boasts a lot of funk and samples from A R Rahman, Harry Anand and South Indian movies, strains of tere mere biich me.n. I kinda liked the soundtrack, but YMMV. Trivia-mongers will note the importance of Sukhwinder Singh's appearance on the soundtrack. Remember Naachnewale Gaanewale? If you don't, stop reading at this point. B. Subhash gave Sukhwinder a break with that movie, and it looks like SS has returned to pay his debt -- with the title track for the film. So while you wait for the film itself, take a break and fall off your couch with the synopsis of the film. A series of extracts follows verbatim:

Doli (Meghna Naidu) is a bar dancer, a beauty in full bloom, dances to entertain her customer, drawing false vision of lust and arousing passion in men through her sensual body movements.

Nature had begun to audit Doli's account with a red pencil.

A victorious smile cures his lips, as Acharya cannot resist the lure, the forbidden joy of passion, which he always condemned -- SEX.

reeling out the hours

Movies peppered my weekend, instead of inundating it. So perhaps there's hope for me.

Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away is a wonderful children's anime. Lots of Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz allusions. Surreal sets and flourishes of animation eyecandy. My favourites are the worker sootballs and the twin witches Yubaba and Zeniba.

Diksha: An old NFDC/Doordarshan collaboration featuring a talented cast (Manohar Singh, Nana Patekar) and some humbling strong Hindi (with a lot of literary baggage). Simple, effective.

Swami Vivekananda: G V Iyer's interpretation of the life of Swami Vivekananda is often clumsy and badly put together. This may well be the consequence of a limited budget, and a complete lack of interest from parties that have the moolah but score a big fat goose egg in the cultural sensitivity department. G V Iyer has a rich legacy of spiritual films (including India's first full-length Sanskrit film Adi Shankaracharya). This time the narrative structure is simpler. Iyer manages spatial explorations, but the complexities and textures are rare. Mithun Chakraborty is excellent as Ramakrishna Parmahansa, and his scenes with Naren/Vivekananda are worth the watch. As is the rich dialogue. But the cameos by famous faces (Pradeep Kumar, Tanuja, Mamooty) as well as the ineffectual turn by Sarvadhaman Banerjee as Naren. He lacks the fire of the character he portrays. The wonderful songs (barring Yesudas' often disturbing pronunciation) -- including one in jhap taal -- comprised Salil Chowdhury's swan song. Predictably, HMV politely buried this soundtrack, and afficionadoes will probably have to scout dark and decrepit alcoves of stores to dig up the music.

The title tacks on a "Part I". And this harsh review clears up the mystery (besides explaining why I saw names like Hema Malini and Meenakshi Sheshadri in the end credits but never actually saw these people). The print I saw was an NTSC conversion from a PAL recording of a DD-I screening in 1997. The jumpy nature of the film may be attributed to the fact that either DD-I or someone else down the pipeline decided to produce a shorter version of Iyer's longer opus. This only means that I have to wait to find the original full-length version.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: While the extended edition hits the stands, and reports of Saruman not making it to the final edition in the trilogy pour in, I managed to watch the theatrical-version-DVD. Never long, always consistently engrossing, and gentle -- just like the first installment. And Gollum is a wonderful achievement, merging emotion, life and technology. Note to self: make sure I watch at least the final edition in the theatre.

an offended panther, a giant bunny rabbit, a mithun b-flick

The first titular element refers to the uncut version of Michael Jackson's video for Black or White. The delay in transmission of new media to India meant that we only read about it. The extended sequence features a panther that morphs into MJ. He then proceeds to dance about, graciously grab his crotch on more than one occasion and gyrate suggestively, smash the windshields and panes of cars and doors that have racist graffiti on them, throw a garbage can at a store window (a nod at Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing?).

The second refers to a wonderfully dark/comic/brooding/clever skiffy called Donnie Darko. Jake Gyllenhaal is a delight in as the eponymous protagonist, and the soundtrack is groovy. The climax offers great food for thought and debate. The special features (especially the deleted scenes and the soundtrack notes) are fun too. All in all, a perfect 10 on "let's try this film and see how good it is".

Ghamandi has Sarika in the title role, with Mithun Chakraborty playing her Petruchio. Skip ahead through a couple of pleasant songs, and Aruna Irani's love-sacrifice to a short rewarding sequence of Mithun's dance routines. And then rewind, and return. Bad print. Bad acting (Sarika takes the bakery on this one). Terrible dialogue. A B-movie miss.

disco dancer plug

True fans of Bengal Tiger and Monarch Lord Mithun Chakraborty are surely familiar with the intricate details of Disco Dancer, the film that sealed his fame as a great dancer (previously introduced in Surakksha, the first of the Gunmaster G9 films). It will come as no surprise that just as Raj Kapoor's tramp was so popular in Russia and Rajnikant saar is popular in Japan, Mithunda is famous in Africa.

Khatron Ke Khiladi: B-movie jazz

prologue: Here's my thesis: The kind of improvisation that one associates with jazz can only be found in the films generated in the lowbie farms, and not in mainstream Hindi cinema -- barring the energetic fervent envelope-pushing efforts from Ram Gopal Varma. These low-budget ventures are also showcases of unintentional self-awareness ... not quite post-modern, though, because post-modernism emphasises pastiche, parody, bricolage, irony, and playfulness. These little movies strung together with remarkable cost-efficiency do not attempt to trascend and challenge the boundaries of genre. All the pastiche and parody are attributes of the final output -- a product of audience reactions. Which means they are functions of the quality of the audience. The remote areas of India where these films strike a tidy profit comprise a hoard of receptive people, who have few demands from films and their makers. No desire to see wonderfully etched and framed shots, with subtle messages. All they want is good old action/drama with naach-gaanaa. Then there are people like me:). We know these movies aren't laden with great visual composition, multi-layered scripts. Their appeal is in the ways they push the envelope of film-making, while staying loyal to their core fan sector (mentioned above). Khatron Ke Khiladi is yet another example of such a movie.

For those not in the know, here is a little refresher on how Mithun came to become the King of the Bollywood Bs. And another look at the interesting career of this talented actor, who defies explanation. This guy has won four national awards: best actor for Mrigaya (his début), Tahader Katha; best supporting actor for Agneepath and Swami Vivekananda (he played Ramakrishna Parmahans).

Back to the movie. The plot, being a melange of the motivations of movies like Sholay and Karma, is simple: four goons on the run from the cops become saviours for a complacent group of villagers oppressed by an evil unpatriotic Thakur. Here's a brief character sketch of each of the KKK, aka the Gang of Four

Chhailaa Bihaarii (Mithun): Speaks like a Bihari (well, at least, the filmi version of a Bihari). Although the group puts everything to vote, he is clearly the leader. A confirmed Brahmachaari (aka Hanumanji kaa bhakt), he is inevitably drawn to love Phulwa, a travelling bride-in-waiting, who lets her bull guide her to her mate-to-be (and it turns out to be Chhailaa Babu himself)

Raanjhaa Hi.ndustaanii (Puru Raj Kumar): The only member of the gang who talks straight Hindi, but is given to delivering couplets of variable levels of bland innovation (Perhaps in homage to his late father Jaani Raaj Kumar, who literally wrote the encyclopaedia of one-liners in Hindi cinema)

Bombaas (Ronit Roy): The clichéd Hyderabadi (for a more intense portrayal see Shakti Kapoor). He's the demolitions expert (and ironically enough, his death at the end is an explosive one!)

Baazigar (Sudesh Berry): Talks like a Parsi and is adept at exploiting every opportunity for a quick bet, offering high odds with the confidence of victory.

Me-tune Chakraborty: Subhash K Jha reviews the soundtrack for Khatron Ke Khiladi.

the mithun DVD syndrome

The last time I got a mithun DVD it turned out to be a bad one. Being a sentient being, I should have been wiser the next time (Tuesday this week) I picked on. My glee got the better of me and I carted home Road (more about that once I get done with watching the film) and Bhairav. The latter turned out to be a DVD player choker again ... sigh! Got to get a replacement now. More trips.

movies music ... spring!

Got my first Mithun DVDs (on rent of course) from Taj yesterday. Marked a little bright spot in an otherwise foggy cloudy gloomy clammy day. There was Bapu's Hum Paanch and the Mithun-Puru Raj Kumar action flick[sic] Khatron Ke Khiladi (not to be confused with the early Madhuri Dixit starrer of the same name). The latter choked my DVD player, which was rather unfortunate, since it offered loads of B-entertainment. The former worked just fine (it was an Eros/B4U DVD after all). I managed to finish my first viewing of Hum Paanch, and I should be able to post some thoughts later.

Coming soon/watch this space: the synopses of both movies (for your reading pleasure[sic]).

Also got m'self some more music yesterday from the hidden alcove of music in Texas Sari Sapn�, right next to Taj. There was Satya, Zulmi (why this Dilip Sen-Sameer Sen scored Akshay Kumar-Twinkle dud? For the sole uncredited song composed by the late R D Burman), The Golden Collection - A Great Team: Asha Bhosle and R D Burman (another unimaginatively titled compilation from HMV featuring no real novelties from their rotting collection, except for the sole [to my knowledge] song from Teesra Kaun: album details and track listing), and Mehbooba (being the 'classics forever' remastered with bits of dialogue release, rare on CD for some reason, but sorely missing the title song sung by Kishore Kumar).

The Indian calendar for 2003 on sale at Taj yesterday had today (Friday, March 21, 2003) marked as the beginning of Spring. Scoff all you want but that's exactly what has happened. It's bright, sunny and clear outside. And TGIF. I sometimes wonder if the weather actually is controlled by administrative secret agencies that we are unaware of (ref: The Matrix, The Truman Show).