Monday, October 25, 2004

ab...bas![caveat:not a hiccup-y invocation of either the late filmmaker or a contemporary talented screenplay/dialogue writer]

The sleaze piles up like a thanksgiving turkey flood of rancid dung. After other seemingly innocuous titles like Murder (the farthest thing on the minds of the filmmakers and audience alike), Girlfriend (at least there was a hint in the title of this unbearable mess), and Julie (then again...), Hawas (aka this is not a children's movie), we now have Ab...Bas! (ROTFL at ease and relish the irony) starring[sic] hunk number 56 (bearing the moniker of Shawar -- pronounced shower? -- Ali) and expressionless overrated model Diana Hayden (whose turn in Tehzeeb should have convinced anyone with half-a-peanut-sized-brain that she had as much talent as a wet piece of wood ...). The film, to quote Hayden baa_ii, is a dream role for any aspiring actress and I feel it to be the best launching pad that can ever happen. A few tra-la-la's later, you return to catch the preview for this woman-oriented (I kid you not, this is what they say) flick. It's woman-oriented all right ... ogle away as Mr Bathroom and puffy-middle-aged-faced dayaa-naa madam cavort about in fake faux erotic poses and clinches (makes the connubial bliss of roaches seem like a work of art). And then you hear a catchy melody (which, of course, does not match the goings-on at all!). Another mai.nnuu tere naal rip-off, you scream! This must be Anu Malik (who was responsible for bhiige ho.nTh tere, and even had the audacity to go about preening about his genius ... ye gad!). However, it's his younger brother ... another vastly derivative scion of not-very-prodigious Sardar Malik, who has decided to do what ba.De bhai_yaa left asunder ... oops unfinished ... rip-o-rama galore. Bring on the sleaze, please.

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