Tuesday, March 06, 2007

dhoom 2: dumb and dumber: a sample extract

Given the exuberant celebration of stupidity, the hubris of incompetence and the decadent display of family-friendly T n' A abundant in the film, it would suffice to say that Dhoom 2 makes Dhoom look like a cerebral work of art. Instead of baking insults topped with cherries of invectives, YT finds it a more useful exercise to serve up tapas from the film.

Today's offering serves as exhibit A in the case of Dus vs Dhoom 2: the makers of Dus insist that the screenwriters of this internationally mounted bowl of fungal falafel copied material from the pivotal scene of exposition in their film; alert viewers will recall this rooftop presentation by Sanjay Dutt explaining the hidden meanings of das (setting conspiracy theory research back by a decade). YT believes that Yash-Vinay (who were responsible for the grand heist named Plan) and director Anubhav Sinha may have some fire for their smoke. The extract is presented below for your perusal. Pay careful attention to the philosophical and numerological prestidigitation and enjoy with relish.

[AB: Abhishek Bachchan; BB: Bipasha Basu; UC: Uday Chopra]

is chor kii Kaasiyat isakii nishaanii hai ... isakaa signature. chorii kii jagah pe ye apanaa nishaan chho.D hii rahaa hai lekin isakaa ambition kuchh aur hai ye apanaa nishaan saarii duniyaa pe chho.Danaa chaahataa hai. and that's not all. chorii kii agalii date chaudah july two thousand six.

how can you say that?

mister A ko sirf antiques kaa hii nahii.n numbers kaa bhii shauq hai. Seoul. 5-4-2004. saare digits ko add karo to 5 plus 4 plus 2 plus 4. 15. agalii chorii 15-7-2004. total, aTThaais.

agalii chorii Australia. 28-9-2005. total 44. jaise hii total tiis se uupar ho jaataa hai sir wo total ko add kar detaa hai. 4 plus 4.

forty four.

8. agalii chorii huii 8-1-2006. har chorii kaa clue usakii pichhalii chorii ke date me.n hai. apanii taraf se mister A hame.n challenge kar rahaa hai. problem sirf ye hai ki koii usakaa challenge samajh nahii.n paayaa

tumhaare alaawaa jay. fantastic.

aur mahaaraanii kaa crown chorii ho gayaa thaa 1-5-2006. total 14. agalii chorii hogii 14th july.


how's that?

kyo.n ki jo "A" wo duniyaa pe banaanaa chaahataa hai usakii line mumbaii se ho ke hii guzaregii.

The best piece of dialogue (unless memory serves up another nugget later) comes later on in this hagiography of Mister A. It's a line so deviously brilliant that it's hard to imagine which monkey was smoking the magic mix of weed when he typed it out: use Dhuu.NDhaa nahii.n jaa sakataa; sirf paka.Daa jaa sakataa hai. That translates as "he cannot be found; he can only be caught"; or as JR puts it zero search results; use direct link.

elsewhere: miscellaneous notes about the film's contribution to Bollywood's High Concept movement.

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