Saturday, May 05, 2007

hashmi movie HOWTO: The Train as a case in point

The headlines/titles of articles dedicated to a movie featuring the Goofy Octothorpe (previously referred to hereabouts as the future of savvy) should be enough to help you get to the core of the film. Since this is Bollywood, be not surprised at finding no reference to a ghost of a plot, a whisper of a narrative, a whiff of a story.

The Train isn't just about adultery: aha! So it's basically about adultery and then some. {article}

Kissing Emraan wasn't that scary: Sayali Bhagat: a chill ran down your spine ... but a moment later you were fine.

Kissing is part of my job, says Emraan: merely reminding you, dear filmgoer, that your money might be better spent elsewhere (like paying someone to fill up the potholes in Pune -- a breeze of a task when compared with filling up the plot holes in Bollywood's flicked flicks)

I am attracted to negative roles: Emraan Hasmi[sic]: To be used in a term paper titled "Female roles in Bollywood: The dark side of orbicularis oris"

I'm building my career all over again: Emraan: Why bother? As long as you look like Dopey crossed with an emaciated camel, you'll be fine.

And then we have a set of headlines that tell a strange tale: It's a great opportunity to have Emraan as an onscreen husband ... / I said I won't kiss but I did: Emraan Hashmi / Lip lessons: Emraan turns kissing coach / When Sayali tought [sic] Emraan how to kiss! / Sayali Bhagat slapped serial kisser / 'I play the lead, not Geeta'/ Geeta Basra unhappy over being sidelined? / Kissing your co-star is a part of your job: Geeta Basra

Wimpy and The Nose parted ways on this project and Aap Kaa Surroor: The Moviee: The Real Luv Story (more about this film that has already won the award for Most Outrageous Title for 2007) and the foundation for the rift seems to have been laid by complaints from each side that personal styles and limelight were being usurped ("I thought I sucked on screen ... you tried to ape my moves and now you make me look good!")

This film is reportedly the first Hindi film to be shot in Bangkok's Sky Trains; The makers of this film also made The Killer, didn't they? Expect another filch.

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