After the "success" of Salaam Namaste (the film and the soundtrack), Yash Raj Films have decided to ride this hobby horse to the ground with their home-grown take on this currently successful piece of high concept. And the people behind the background score, Salim-Sulaiman, who made their mainstream music-directorial splash with Kaal (great for the ears, bad for the eyes), are roped in to do the hip honours. Someone called Anvita Dutt Guptan (watch that name; after the YRF publicity machinery is done inundating your senses and milieu with this film and all things associated, you will remember it well) gets to pen the lyrics. While S&S produce a reliable mix of sounds, it doesn't make as much of a splash as Kaal. And the terrible lyrics that draw attention to themselves are to blame, in all likelihood.
You know things are bad as soon as you take a look at the CD. Thought bubbles decorate a shot of Uday Chopra (fat arms, puny head, no talent) and Tanisha Mukherjee (is that how you spell it? With numerology and personal preferences, I'm lost) [who was one of the weak links in Sarkar and also played a character called Mehak {iTrans-pron: mahak} in that stinker (pun away) called S4H3...]. The gal's (that's Tanisha, FYI) thought bubble reads "Yuck! Puke! Tum Aur Main! Kabhi Nahin! You're A Jerk!" UC's bubble goes "Really! So Why Are You Giving Me That Come-On-Baby-Rock-My-World Look?" See, the use baby confuses me as far as UC is concerned. I'm sure the screenplay[sic] will make sure. The designated director for this piece of corn, BTW, is a dude by the name of Arjun Sablok (wouldn't be surprised if he had something to do with the famous[sic] Sablok Clinic in Delhi), who was responsible for a piece of long-drawn tripe called Na Tum Jano Na Hum.
The tracks begin to play. A sample of the lyrics from the surefire hit title song (which, in order to guarantee appeal, even quotes the riff from DDLJ's tujhe dekhaa to ye jaanaa in post-modern agony) voiced by K K and Shweta Pandit with generous inputs from the lead pair.
he:
mai.n shaayad chaar saal kaa thaa
jab mujhe pahalii baar pyaar huaa
usane mujhe dekhaa mai.nne use dekhaa
ham dono.n me.n iqaraar huaa
mai.n tab bhii kitanaa ##cool## thaa
jitanaa mai.n aaj huu.N
mai.n tab bhii ##super-cool## thaa
jaise mai.n aaj huu.N
female chorus: neal neal neal neal
he:
##i'm the neal i'm the man rock star super star## (2)
...
Uday:
o k ... so what about you? what's your story, girl?
she:
well, mai.n to yuu.N dil de baiThii
jaane binaa mai.n pyaar kar baiThii
##i was nine## mai.nne use ##TV## pe dekhaa
##george michael## usakaa naam thaa
Uday:
oh! that singer??! he's gay.
you know he (pause) swings the other way
Tanisha:
what!!???
Uday:
yaa!
Tanisha:
um mai.n bahut chhoTii thii (pause) and anyways ...
she:
##i knew## meraa shahazaadaa gho.De pe aayegaa
kaano.n me.n dhiire se wo yuu.N gunagunaayegaa
male chorus: nikki nikki nikki
she: yo!
female chorus/she:
##nikki bakshi sweet n' sexy full-on rocking hot an' happening## (2)
...
he:
##two ones are two, two twos are four## ...
Go get yourself a copy and check out the rest of it while I LMAO.
No comments:
Post a Comment