Friday, December 09, 2005

here be strange spoilers [courtesy: sudarshan]

Taran Adarsh clearly needs a lobotomy. How else can one explain the presence of an almost complete plot listing (seriously: songs can't be part of the plot can they?) for Ek Ajnabee's review. Perhaps he took a look at the URL, saw fullstory and decided to provide just that. Or perhaps he was letting people know just what's important about the film (in Bollywood, we don't give two hoots about plot): star power, style, star cameos.

Starting with Denzil Smith to Aditya Lakhia to Akhilendra Mishra to Yuth (the Thai actor who plays the role of Chang) to the 'Boss' (Raj Zutshi), ...

um, who TF is Denzil Smith?

Ek Ajnabee seeks its basic inspiration from the Hollywood film Man on Fire (2004; Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning), but director Apoorva Lakhia has Indianized the plot in such a manner that the basic plot is very identifiable.

If I had to tax my brain and try and figure out what you meant by that last part there, I would conclude that you probably meant that Shri Lakhi[y]a had tweaked the premise from the 2004 flick so that Indian audiences could identify with the plot. Or did you mean that Lakhi[y]a did a bad job at hiding his influences? ham kanaphuuj ho gaye hai.n

As an aside, I must note that Bollywood soundtracks are now becoming just as family-unfriendly as the reel stuff featuring damsels in various stages of undress shaking their assets about on screen. ishq hai jhuuTaa from Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena featured the obligatory rap boasting a line that went get on top girl, be naughty. And the Blast U Between Your Eyes remix of They Don't Know on Ek Ajnabee's dark sample-heavy much-better-than-the-movie soundtrack features the immortal can I have your g*dd*mn soul to fry ... son of a b***h I'm gonna blast you .... Another thing that connects these two soundtracks is the sticky eight-note riff from Usher's Yeah sampled merrily without credit. Oh well.

Meanwhile, if you want more spoilers filled with bellyache inducers, check out TA's review of Kalyug:

Emraan Hashmi makes a brief appearance and the actor is, like always, highly competent.

How can you call EH an actor and also refer to him as highly competent?

Or his review of Neal 'N' Nikki (let's not even explore the notational conventions for that N in the middle, shall we?) [soundtrack notes]

...why this need to focus on bust-n-butt in almost every sequence? Is that the definition of modern cinema? Or is that what Sablok thinks the moviegoers want to watch over a gripping story? Sorry, that's not naughty, that's cheap!

Duh! Loved that Gaurav Gera is pure teakwood bit though.

One must also note that Mr Adarsh employs Microsoft Word with the default language setting ("English (US)").

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