video gaga: sonu nigam challenges ziggy stardust

There's a new Sonu Nigam (or Niigaam in astrologicalese) album on the stands and it's called Classically Mild. It features the voice of the vastly talented singer blended with a soundscape boasting a bevy of clichés from the world of easy listening ... nan.d, kaafii, bilaawal and ahir bhairav (among others) meet keyboards, kazoo and fugle[sic] horn.

The pièce de résistance is the video for a track on the album called suunaa suunaa. I won't spoil it for you; all I can provide as a portent is a cloud of words: a Greco-Roman composite of Eros, Christ and Krishna warbles and struts his efforts in the gym in a bushel of exercise routines, romantic overtures and memories of childhood.

SN's been prone to silly antics before (remember bijuriyaa? [youtube video]), but this marks a new visual milestone for him. He seems to be entering Abhijit Pohankar territory with this attempt at a fusion of everything aural (raags, lounge, smooth jazz, electronics) packaged in videos featuring a camera gaga about the female form (except that Mr. Niigaam prefers, like Mr. Adnan Sami, to hog a significant portion of screen real estate himself). Yet, for all the criticism levied against him, Abhijit Pohankar's ouevre seems to sport a certain sense of the aesthetic. Mr. Niigam's been shedding clothes for a while now (A tribute to decades of Hindi film singing at a Filmfare Awards show comes to mind -- he had stacked up clothes appropriate to each decade and proceeded to pop them off as he made his way from the past to the present).

It was tragic enough to hear the fine voice done justice in a bhajan on the virtually unheard soundtrack of Mr. Ya Miss. It's a pity seeing such a great vocal talent in a state of comic undress. Listening to this effort might not have been such a bad experience, but the eyes have now been scarred.

catastrophic apostrophes

One of the most enduring memories from the Monty Python Flying Circus sketches for me has been the It's Man where Palin's beleagured hermit's exaggerated efforts to approach the screen across obstacles that would in real time be insurmountable culminated in a victoriously exhausted gasp of "It's."

That word haunts the contributions of some exhibits of apostrophe abuse (it's and its get swapped merrily as if they were identical twins).

The promos (this IndiaFM promo watch page has links to one of them) for Priyadarshan's rip-off Kyon Ki seemed keen on achieving sarataaj status in this matter. They completely eschewed the apostrophe and exploited possessives for their inter-titles (its salman, its kareena, its love, its passion, its madness, its fate, this diwali its special). To interpret it as an auteurist move would have been an equally extravagant exercise.

Raja Sen's review of Vishal's soundtrack for Ajay Devgan's directorial début U, Me Aur Hum sports another editorial gaffe:

It's a neat, uncluttered visual, not trying too hard but succeeding immensely -- and bodes well for Devgan's directorial debut. And it's soundtrack.

I recently started reading Shashi Tharoor's Bookless in Baghdad. The 14th chapter of the first edition is an article about R. K. Narayan titled "R. K. Narayan's Comedies of Suffering." Smack in the middle of page 98 is an example of abuse in plural (to wit): the ABC's of bad writing - archaisms, banalities and cliches - abounded. Interestingly enough, the online version of the article on Tharoor's web site exploits the pliable nature of web content and knocks off the egregious apostrophe: the ABC of bad writing - archaisms, banalities and cliches - abounded.

It's time to end this burst of bile.

grammy whammy

While Herbie Hancock (whom I was privileged to catch at the 30th Atlanta Jazz Festival) caused a few several jaws to fall to the floor at the 50th Grammy Awards ceremony by taking away Album Of The Year, good old Slowhand's collaboration with another key inspiration of his, J. J. Cale, The Road To Escondido snagged the award for Best Contemporary Blues Album. The last time EC collaborated with another key influence, B. B. King was Riding With The King and that won a Grammy for Best Traditional Blues Album.

An interesting non sequitur: The Cale collaboration opens with Danger, a song that shares its chord progression with After Midnight, a Cale song that EC covered on his eponymous début and scored a hit. Quite apt.

The tribute album We All Love Ennio Morricone contributed two nominees: Metallica, for their cover of The Ecstasy Of Gold, a track that, in its original form, they've used to open their concerts and Bruce Springsteen for his cover of Once Upon A West.

different frequencies

A glances at the three issues of Wired on the desk as he carries on a discussion with B. B sees the interest in A's eyes and also the screaming words advertising the title story ("100 mpg! the race to build the ultimate fuel-efficient car") and starts talking about supergreen cars and A has to tell B that it wasn't the title story but the line above the title that caught his eye: "radiohead and the new world of music by david byrne." B doesn't register Radiohead, he only registers the word music. A enthusiastically tells B why he thinks the line is cool: David Byrne was the frontman of Talking Heads and Radiohead got its name from a track on the Talking Heads album True Stories. A feels the enthusiasm drain away as he registers B's reaction. They return to their discussion, wrap it up and A returns to his desk with the issue, hoping to read the article in a spare moment.

bored in the light

The premise of Red: The Dark Side smells like a lift: a guy falls for the widow of the donor of his heart. What can you expect from the director of such once-agains as Yakeen, Aetbaar, Footpath and Awara Paagal Deewana? By the time the end credits begin to roll, you're left wondering how such promising material met with such undeserving wretched execution. The film essentially represents another of Vikram Bhatt's poorly executed maudlin buckets of ennui (see also Inteha) besides being another vehicle featuring his on-screen alter ego Aftab Shivdasani. Aftab is not alone; he has Amrita Arora (Girlfriend, the dillii kii sardii item song in Zameen) and Celina Jaitley (made her début in Khel, spoofed Vanessa Mae in Janasheen, was one of the zombies in Zinda and contributed 50% of the wood falling for the hirsute Hashmi in Jawani Diwani).

At this point it must be noted that it is a carnal (no pun intended) sin to encourage the acting aspirations of such fine pieces of wide-eyed bambi-brained silconeans as Arora and Jaitley. Ladies, you have been specially chosen to be eye candy, to load the screen with oomph, to sashay and sway in various family-friendly stages of undress. You were not designed to -- shudder! -- act. It behooves the producers of cinematic enterprises featuring you to encourage you to answer your calling and to nip any aberrant strains of ambition in the nascent bud.

You miss a tribute to Dan Brown and his trademark opening sentences, when the credits are followed by an inter-title that says "A few months back." A change in the colour palette is denied any subtlety by the annoying and expected inter-title "Now" several shots later. Need one also note that the colour employed in these inter-titles is ... duh! ... Red?

A tribute to the penchant of directing duo Abbas-Mustan to have a misspelled sign in their movies (I remember Khiladi and Baazigar) comes in the form of the Hindustan Times headline "the greiving widow."

A tribute to Bollywood's refusal to worship the details is evident in the sequence when a cop holding an iron rod from the scene of a crime is asked to send it for fingerprints. The tendency of going overboard with technical devices is evident when a nice narrative technique of inter-cutting moments in the present and the near past is overused.

If you thought Bhatt was going to reveal an immaculately presented B- forest cake under this icing of quotes and tributes, you picked the wrong tree to hug. Given a trio that seems to have found a font to educate a wretched pleasure in wallowing with dour faces and sour lines, you can only try and seek solace in the occasional pearls that the dialogue track coughs up. Sushant Singh hams away with glee and lends an eerie depth of sincerity to his part as the investigating officer. There is a calm confidence when he notes the three reasons for a crime (zar, joruu, zamiin) or when he riffs on nahii.n jaanataa. It's a pity that he has to share footage with the murderers of choice lines like you've not only given me a life; you've also given me a reason to live, you used me in bed and I used you out of it, tumane merii zi.ndagii me.n zahar milaayaa, aur mai.nne use champagne me.n and I'm ready to die in love, I'm ready to kill in love, but I'm not ready to be a fool in love. The only ray of hope emerges when a manager at Sea View offers his reason for thinking that a now deceased guest was an honest man: wo hameshaa ek hii la.Dakii ke saath aate the. Oh! If only that had come with an accompanying subtitle that read he was singularly unfaithful.

When The Nose was chosen to deliver chart-busting songs for the soundtrack, he churned out a standard set of sneezes laced with infectious riffs, thumps (consider aafariin) and ridiculous lines (loneliness is killing everyone). These also meet a dire fate at the chopping block of ennui.

The previews throve in mendacity. Skin-hungry viewers were duped by the visuals into expecting a G-rated ménage à trois, but only got the trademark Bollywood sniffing and a shot of Celina Jaitley standing like a man in the gym ready to do some sets with dumbbells. This epidermal treachery seemed very much in keeping with flicks like Girlfriend and Paap.

One is only left in the vermeil darkness contemplating all the promise that this flick held.

incoming traffic

last post in this series

* utopian vision meghna actress: Gulzar, Kothari or Naidu? The first has no known desire to face the camera, the second has aces like Prem Aggan and Vadh in her kitty and the third bounced about the screen in lipidinous levity featuring in Classic Dance Of Love and promised to break new ground with sleaze master Karan Razdan's Shock (sadly not much has been heard of this film since). I fail to see the utopian angle.
* daya nayak licensed to kill telugu: Was his target the people or the film industry? Surely, he wouldn't want to deny us the blessings of Balaya?
* is old tb6 channel has come back and on which satellite?: I don't know dude, but I'm sure you've already found out by now.
* samay item song dancer: Aah, you must have been looking for this long piece dedicated to the first film of the director of MP3: Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar...

A pie chart tells me that most of the incoming traffic comprises innocent first-timers. Boy! This must be one scary portal.

RIP bharat gopi

Veteran Malayalam actor Bharat Gopi passed away at the age of 71 on January 29, 2008. Although he's got an impressive list of performances in films by Adoor Gopalakrishnan and G. Aravindan (among others), my immediate memory is of Paadheyam (starring Mammootty), which he had produced as well. You will be missed, Sir.

elsewhere: Shobha Warrier article for Rediff.com

quote libet

One of the numerous sops to the media for Gowariker's forthcoming period opus Jodhaa Akbar (rejected tagline: when doves cried) casts a shadow of doubt on the nature of the intended audience of the film and the presence of brain cells in the marketing/PR department; it also offers quiet assurance that Bollywood has a long way to go before it acquires a new approach to movie marketing. I have shown my body in Jodhaa Akbar too screams the headline for a collection of responses from the film's star Hrithik Roshan in response to a bunch of questions that came from the WeThinkWeRCool department:

Will youth identify with this film?
If it doesn’t the film will be a failure. It's a love story and people should like it.

No body show in Jodhaa Akbar like in Dhoom ?
I have shown my body in Jodhaa Akbar ! (smiles)

Meanwhile Anjaan's son Sameer crows about his work on Saawariya while griping that he's been accused of playing to the gallery. Some people just don't know their worth:

'For a recent film, 'Phir Hera Pheri' I wrote 'All day, all night' which was in four languages - Rajasthani, English, Hindi and Punjabi - that's the effect of globalisation on our cinema and music. That is how today's youngsters speak. That's the spirit one has to capture in our film songs,' he added.

is this good or bad for atlanta's public transit?

On Wednesday, January 23, 2008, a 22 year-old woman robbed a Wachovia Bank, ran across the parking lot to a Quizno's, got sprayed with orange ink when a dye bomb exploded, tried to store her sullied clothes and the money in a women's bathroom in a Publix nearby, changed her clothes and ... wait for it ... went to the MARTA bus stop at Dunwoody Place and Hope Road to wait for a bus. She was spotted and arrested, thus being denied of tasting the success she had with a similar move before. [sanitised AP report that mentions no names | AJC report with more juicy details]

The question now is: does this represent something good (look, she got arrested only because she was waiting for a bus instead of driving away in a car ... imagine if we had more buses around; we'd be able to catch more people while they're waiting for a bus to make a getaway) or something bad (there you go; didn't I tell you that having buses around is going to cause more crime?) for public transportation in Atlanta?

announcing: RMIM Puraskaar 2007

It has been amiss of me to delay this post. Vinay is back with the second edition of RMIM Puraskaar. Voting closes tentatively on January 31, 2008.

The announcement's also posted on the giitaayan blog.

related: announcements hereabouts for the first edition and its results.

the last laugh

Heath Ledger was found dead on Tuesday afternoon in a Manhattan apartment. He was 28. After fame with Brokeback Mountain, he was all set to make another role his own -- that of The Joker in The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's follow-up to Batman Begins, the eminently satisfying boost to the film canon that had suffered from a descent into high camp reminiscent of the Adam West-Burt Ward days. Ledger had been signed on for Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, on which production began in December 2007 (one wonders how much work Ledger clocked for the film). Nolan's film seems slated to mark what might be Ledger's last complete screen appearance (the entry in his filmography indicates that the film is in post-production); Ledger's death will also lend a very ominous air to the character of The Joker, a character slated for much more recognition than anyone might ever have hoped for.

addendum [January 30, 2008]: Christopher Nolan shares his thoughts on working with Ledger on the film.

julia, O, and a new blog for vishal bhardwaj

One of the closing flourishes of the last year came fromJR in the form of a blog dedicated to all things Vishal Bhardwaj. He graciously asked me on board as well. This means that straight news on the happenings in the cinemagic world of Vishal will go over to that blog, including notes on the mysterious state of Julia, the possibility of a prequel to Omkara (he could dispatch the script to RGV's Factory and the next Vishram Sawant could churn out O (Meerut Maharaja)) and his travelling to Pune (passing by Das Auto Works^[1], no doubt) to work on a script. Both Sudarshan and LL pounced on that news bit when it showed up online.

[1]: an element from the detailed texture of Sriram Raghavan's delicious pulpy Johnny Gaddar

zed's dead baby; zed's dead

Farah Khan's moolah-raking Om Shanti Om owes an obvious debt (no pun intended) to Subhash Ghai's Karz. After much ado, the next one in line features He Who Has Deigned To Unleash His Tresses. Astrologically stammering at the tip of a delay pedal, Karzzzz is reportedly going to sport an interesting casting choice. Instead of a see-saw of the Singer of Snotty Song, audiences might now see the mongrel who shot to fame by being the face for the voice of The Nose. Urmila Matondkar will get to bump off Emraan Hashmi; Emraan Hashmi will be reborn as Himesh Reshammiya. Enraptured by the sight of uncapped hair, the audience is slated to shell out rupees, dollars, pounds and more while the tinny sound in the ears refuses to go away.

A fragment of Anand Bakshi's lyric became the title of his grandson's directorial début starring Emraan Hashmi; the film made a star of Hashmi and The Nose's songs became a rage. A couple of years later, one sees more connections. An industry whose product has thrived on narratives built from coincidences owes itself such a rich tapestry. "Vengeance is back" screams the poster. Soon the audience will scream. A star will be reborn.

elsewhere: JR explores one interpretation of the title.

14 years since pancham passed away

and the tributes and reminiscences seem have dwindled to a trickle. Over in Pune, the PanchamMagic guys have effected yet another wonderful tribute show. The drying puddle of skeletal articles offering little new in substance is offset by the announcement of Brahmanand Singh's labour of love: A film called Pancham Unmixed: Mujhe Chalte Jaana Hai that collects a host of people who lived and worked closely with the late music director and offers a thaalii of delectable memories, anecdotes and musically rich nostalgia. Some extracts can be relished in a CNN-IBN feature as well a longer fragment hosted by IndiaFM.

more SATYA trivia

While opening his PFC post pitching for Sudhir Mishra's Khoya Khoya Chand, Anurag Kashyap drops a nugget of trivia about Satya:

Satya, the much celebrated cult classic of this country was conceived after Ramu saw Iss raat.. infact[sic] Sudhir was asked to work on it in the beginning before getting the famous Ramu Indifference treatment..

In a wonderful world, this would've been enough incentive to have a DVD of Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin on the stalls. But this would fall right next to the other scenario from the wonderful world: in anticipation of Khoya Khoya Chand's release, stores have DVDs of previous Sudhir Mishra ventures on display. Alas, this is far from a wonderful world despite what Satchmo had to say.

the moon returneth?

In a wonderful post on PFC, Sudhir Mishra offers some background on his latest release Khoya Khoya Chand with some especially enlightening notes on the songs. The following extract might explain Shantanu Moitra's filching of Jingle Bell Rock (something that JR brings out in his notes on the soundtrack):

Three of the songs in the film, namely the cabaret, the mujra and the piano song "khushboo sa" , "chale aao saiyan", "yeh nigahen", are referential. They have to deliberately remind you of similar songs. "Yeh Nigahen" for example has to deliberately sound like other western songs. Like yeh hai bambai meri jaan is actually O my darling Clementine.

The highest point of the post comes with the following extract:

I do wish to at some day make a sequel to Hazaaron. And now that I hear Chitrangada is coming back at least to do a film with me. That's great. You could write the sequel many ways but you can’t write it without Geeta.

There's a shard on TOI that adds more fat to this fire. If this is indeed true, the vanishing lady will find a horde of fans waiting.

On a related note, if anyone has seen the DVD for Ruchi Narain's Kal:Yesterday and Tomorrow, please drop me a note.

February 16, 2008: Chitrangada's slated to play Chandramukhi as a socialite in Sudhir Mishra's Aur Devdas and she's also on board for Sorry Bhai, the third directorial venture of Onir (My Brother Nikhil, Bas Ek Pal).

March 14, 2008: More proof from the sets of Sorry Bhai. The location of the first shot added an ironic echo to the video Sanjay Suri and Chitrangda Singh had featured in for the Vishal/Gulzar collaboration Sunset Point (The production house for the film (Anticlock Films) takes its name from the club in Bas ek Pal)

April 01, 2008: A Rediff interview treads familiar ground, but features a few more photographs of the lovely lady.

April 13, 2008: ad filmmaker Abhinay Deol has her interest for Delhi Belly, a comedy of the risqué kind set in Delhi (duh!); while she awaits the script there are talks of roping Aamir Khan in as well.

April 15, 2008: Tehelka has a nice article, which includes a note that Vishal Bhardwaj was among those that had wanted to work with her. Now that she's back, one hopes that the opportunity to see the two talents work together.

a pitch for matinees and morning shows

David Bordwell's latest post begins with a paean to the matinee and its merits, chief of which would be cost:

It's cheaper, and the auditorium is depopulated. Sometimes I'm the only person there. I know, movies are supposed to be seen with a big audience; but I've seldom liked the experience of a packed house. Does the humble worshipper in the temple need a congregation to confirm his faith? Isn't it best to commune with the deity alone? More to the point: Even before the advent of cellphones, somebody always coughs or talks at the wrong time.

If there are any other people around during my matinees, they are likely to be elderly folks, misfits, losers, idlers, and troublemakers. This makes me feel superior. But then I realize that to an objective observer, I could fit into any of those categories.

When faced with a choice, I've preferred a Regal multiplex to an AMC haunt. Regal sports larger halls and better sound. With rising ticket prices, a matinee or morning show at a Regal multiplex offered the best value. Ticket prices have gone all the way to $10 ($9 for students and senior citizens) for a regular evening show while matinee prices have risen to $8 (no discounts here; one price to fleece them all). Enter AMC with a new programme called, fittingly in a punny way, AM Cinema (it's over a year old now). This knocks down the price of a ticket for a show before noon on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and holidays to as low as $4, $5 or $6 depending on where you are. This makes for the most lucrative movie deal around as far as I can tell. If you can find a large AMC multiplex (24 screens wouldn't hurt), you can strike a compromise between the viewing experience and the withering wallet.

That page sports an example of the abuse of the either/or construct: A.M.Cinema invites moviegoers to visit their local AMC theatre before noon on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and holidays to enjoy first-run movies for either $4.00, $5.00 or $6.00 depending on theatre and market.

thought tapas

Sunidhi Chauhan's managed to be the voice behind not one but two attempts to revisit classic Bollywood songs -- ye meraa dil for Farhan Akhtar's Don: The Chase Begins and mahabuubaa in Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag. I wonder if there were other such instances in the last couple of years.

Alisha Chinai's album Shut Up N Kiss Me with its basket full of lyricists (including the lady herself), a collaboration with Apache Indian and Ravi Bal handling most of the music, arrangement and production went by without notching enough appreciation from lovers of trash. The title track alone was worth the price of aural admission. The arrangements mix in everything including haunted castle howls and doo-wop ad libs, while AC's lyrics mix cheeky references (jaa jaa kajaraa re) and conjure a refrain that excavates obscure relationships between fruits and vegetables as well elements from evolution for poetic metaphor:

tuu hai kashmiirii seb / mai.n huu.N bambaii kaa aaluu
[translation: you're a apple from Kashmir / I'm a spud from Bombay]
tuu hai a.ngrezii babe / mai.n huu.N bholaa bhaaluu
[translation: you're an English lass / I'm a simple bear (aka they call me Bjorn the Buffoon)]

Wonder if that was a "back at ya" dig at Anu Malik's paen to the potato in Mr. and Mrs. Khiladi.

Vikram Bhatt's Fear (formerly known as Rooh) was supposed to make a splash with an Internet-and-DVD-only release on Friday, July 13, 2007. I'm not sure what happened to the film, but I do remember something from the cover of the CD of the soundtrack. Right next to the title is the Hindi word Dar followed by an ellipsis and then an extra 'ra'; would this represent a numerological first in devanaagarii? And then there's a note from the director himself on the back: if the music of raaz haunted you for years...fear will haunt you for centuries. There's an interesting pattern to a couple of recent Vikram Bhatt films. He made Speed, which, despite its name was based not on the Reeves/Hopper/Bullock flick, but the Basinger/Evans flick Cellular; and Aetbaar was a ripoff of the Wahlberg/Witherspoon flick Fear; and now we have Fear, which probably has nothing to do with the English film of the same name, but something to do with some other film.

count the strokes that spell love

The vapid incompetent Dhai Akshar Prem Ke now stands shining in the record books as the first film where Bollywood's hottest married couple Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai showed up as a lead pair. As far as counts go, Dhaaii (2^1/2) was right too with the pr representing a full pa and a half ra of sorts, graced by a maatraa and followed by the full ma. A few several years ago, a Madhuri/Govinda starrer called Izzatdaar boasted a song called yaad rakhiyo ye chaar akshar pyaar ke, penned by the reliable Anand Bakshi and scored in the predictable strings-and-membranophone style of Laxmikant-Pyarelal. The problem with that line is that pyaar is structurally quite alike prem, chalking up a score of 2.5 as far as akshars are concerned. Yet, Mr. Bakshi breaks new ground and shatters the ceiling by raising the number to 4. One plausible explanation is that the creative muse was the English word love. This was cross-lingual travesty came a year before the lyricist/composer-duo combination heaved the acronymous annoyance of ILU on the cringing populace in Subhash Ghai's Saudagar.

julia, fearless nadia and shakespeare

LL's comment on the last post exploring Vishal's next directorial venture preempted this post by a few several seconds. Vishal's next is most assuredly based on the life of Mary Evans aka Fearless Nadia. Moreoever, there's evidence that Gulzar's working on the lyrics for the film. This puts to rest any questions about whether this was to be the songless film that Vishal has talked about in the past.

In other news, the Big B seems to have let the cat out of the bag as far as Vishal's next (and final?) edition in his Shakespeare trilogy (Douglas Adams had a trilogy in five parts, so don't get slimy with me about semantics). At a screening of Rituparno Ghosh's The Last Lear at The Times BFI 51st London Film Festival, he noted that he was going to be part of Vishal's adaptation of King Lear: He also added that the film will be out in 2008 and the script is currently being worked on and will get over by the end of this year. Vishal is denying this for the moment. Given that he's currently working on Julia (and maintaining a silence about the details), one can conclude that the Big B collaboration might be the next film on his plate:

[...] rumour mills are rife that Vishal Bhardwaj's next production will be based on King Lear. But he says no. "This time it won't be Shakespeare. I can do other things too," said Vishal, who was at the South Asian Film Festival with wife and singer Rekha. "I'm ready with another script and the shooting will begin shortly," he said.

Things are getting a bit too Lear-y here, although it might just be fortuitous coincidence; after all Ghosh' film, based on the late Utpal Dutt's play Aajker Shahjahan, merely appears to reference Shakespeare; an adaptation of the play would do more than that. Just like Macbeth (the source for Maqbool), there's a Kurosawa adaptation to savour.

One wonders if Vishal's ever going to attack Julius Caesar, since he's voiced that thought before.