howlarious consequences of a quest for plot [via TwitchFilm]

Apparently a planned Hollywood by-the-numbers remake of the Dario Argento classic Suspiria has gone awry in the early stages. Argento's film is about a new student at a ballet academy who discovers that the place houses a coven of witches. Apparently, one reason cited for failure to proceed was the inability to explain why the witches had to choose a ballet academy. This might not seem as outrageously WTF-worthy for people who aren't familiar with Argento's work. Suspiria, the only film in the Argento canon that I've had the privilege of watching, is an experience in nightmares and while a narrative exists to tie the events, it's clearly not the foundation of the film. It functions like a 32-bar standard does for jazz musicians to improvise with, and Argento does more than improvise: he combines rich visuals and a creepy soundtrack from Goblin along with expressionist performances and laces the mixture with a stylish flair for an unbelievable cinematic experience. All this doesn't necessarily suggest the possibility of a remake. But someone thought it was a great way for another brain-dead cash cow. And they just went about it the wrong way only to end up trapped in a nightmare of their own making:)